Dear Emptiness

Dear Emptiness,

I feel myself shutting down, but I can't stop it. It feels like someone has gutted me, like I am just a walking, talking, shell. I can almost feel myself withering away. And the worst part is that no one notices. I want to scream and kick and lash out, punch someone to make them see me. But it is just too much fucking effort.

I feel tired all the time, no energy, and all I want to do is sleep. But I can't even sleep, I just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. Everything around me is just there, just as empty and blank as I feel. Everyone around me keeps going, I feel myself falling behind, fading away.

Dear Emptiness,

I feel like I have nothing left of myself to give. It is so hard trying to be happy anymore, when I don't feel anything on the inside. Putting on a smile everyday to not worry people, to keep the questions away is exhausting. It's hard to even go out anymore. I feel like people know, and that they judge me because of it, and it hurts.

Dear Emptiness,

Sometimes, I have these rare, beautiful moment, where I don't feel quite so empty. Where I can look ahead and I see happiness, a time when I will be able to smile for real. These moments are the moments that keep me going. But would it kill you to let them happen a bit more often?