Dear Trust

Dear Trust,

You beautiful, fragile thing. So easily broken, not so easily regained. It was easy to have you around, but not anymore. You let me make friends, love people, but now you are nowhere to be seen, and I feel so alone. You come between me and everyone now, No one gets close, I know you are only trying to help, but you are doing more harm than good. You make me fear close relationships, because that means they can hurt me, and I don't know if I can take being hurt again. 

Each time someone acts like they care, you make me push them away, because I just can't trust them enough. Can't trust them enough not to hurt me in the end. Can't trust them not to bring me pain, because I have been living with pain my whole life, and I don't need anymore.

Dear Trust,

Dear mistrust, lack of trust. I need to let you go. I need to be able to open up again, so that I can feel, to allow someone to care for me, without fear of them hurting me, without fear that I will hurt them. 

We are getting closer to where I want to be, need to be. I just hope now that we don't mess up this tiny, fragile bond.