Dear social anxiety,
they are watching me, looking, seeing, staring. And you are right here, pointing them out. Tricking me into believing that I am a fumbling, bumbling, idiot. That I am ugly, fat. you make me believe that they are making fun of me, laughing. And so I panic. I can't breathe. I stop reasoning. You allow for no thought, no break until I am weak, on my knees, and I need air, oxygen I need to catch my fucking breath and I can't...I can't...I can't...breathe....
they are watching me, looking, seeing, staring. And you are right here, pointing them out. Tricking me into believing that I am a fumbling, bumbling, idiot. That I am ugly, fat. you make me believe that they are making fun of me, laughing. And so I panic. I can't breathe. I stop reasoning. You allow for no thought, no break until I am weak, on my knees, and I need air, oxygen I need to catch my fucking breath and I can't...I can't...I can't...breathe....
Dear social anxiety,
you make me worry over the most trivial things. You make me worry about the way I walk about the way I take an item off the shelf, about saying the wrong thing in front of a group of friends. I just want to be able to go out in public and not have to worry. Not worry about the way people are looking at me. And there are too many people here. Something could go wrong, I can't do anything...I can't....I can't....I can't breathe.....
you make me worry over the most trivial things. You make me worry about the way I walk about the way I take an item off the shelf, about saying the wrong thing in front of a group of friends. I just want to be able to go out in public and not have to worry. Not worry about the way people are looking at me. And there are too many people here. Something could go wrong, I can't do anything...I can't....I can't....I can't breathe.....
Dear social anxiety,
you are taking away everything. My family, my friends, my life, me. I can't even talk to anyone. Afraid they will think I only want attention, afraid they will get sick of hearing my problems. And now you're only getting worse. I have to force myself to talk to my friends, to the people I care about. Because everything is easier when I don't have to go out in public, when I can just stay home and not potentially embarrass myself. All I want to do is curl in on myself, and stay there, where it is safe. Your shadow is growing bigger, darker. I am afraid that it will consume me completely. Because I can't breathe....
you are taking away everything. My family, my friends, my life, me. I can't even talk to anyone. Afraid they will think I only want attention, afraid they will get sick of hearing my problems. And now you're only getting worse. I have to force myself to talk to my friends, to the people I care about. Because everything is easier when I don't have to go out in public, when I can just stay home and not potentially embarrass myself. All I want to do is curl in on myself, and stay there, where it is safe. Your shadow is growing bigger, darker. I am afraid that it will consume me completely. Because I can't breathe....
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